I’m currently working with several young adults aged between 13 and 16. I call them young adults because they change rapidly before our eyes into just that, and we have to accept that they might want more independence, crave more privacy, and like to be shown a high level of respect, while perhaps highly critical… Continue reading Your teen and you: Developing mutual respect.
Goals help keep your teen steady and strong when life is difficult. Study goals are most easily achieved by taking small steps most days, not by cramming in lots of information just before exams. At this stage of their life they experience rapid growth spurts and sudden surges of hormones. There are often dramas, if… Continue reading Helping your teen study when they are non-compliant: What to look out for.
Create a study agreement that both you and your teen are happy with. Following on from the last post......I have some further ideas to increase your chances of success when you negotiate with your teen, about anything really, but in this case the amount of study they are doing. I talk again about the importance… Continue reading Your teen and you: No 2 – Creating a win-win study agreement.
Many family coaches waste valuable energy and coaching time because they either listen to their child too much and feel powerless and exhausted by the excessive arguments and discussion, or they are afraid of losing control of the coaching situation, so don’t listen enough and their child feels powerless. The positive discipline approach means you… Continue reading Positive Discipline 4: Clinching a fair deal
Positive Discipline: How to stay respectful and seize control. An important strength of positive discipline is that you can respond quickly and assertively and with confidence when your child behaves badly. Before the positive discipline approach you may have reacted emotionally when your child wasn’t cooperating with you, or refusing to work with you, and… Continue reading Positive Discipline part 3: First steps in seizing control respectfully
A definition of consequences I like is, ‘something that follows as a result’. We create our own consequences in our lives. An excellent example of this for yourself as a parent is the positive changes you can create in your life when you focus on what you can change rather than what is beyond your… Continue reading A positive discipline approach part 2: Fair agreements and consequences
How to be a shrewd negotiator with your teen. When agreement about homework is not easily reached, sit back and listen more closely. Deeply understand what your teen is saying and doing before you open your mouth to speak. When/if they become unhappy with the deal you are negotiating at any point... stop talking and… Continue reading Negotiating homework with your teen: Part 4 – How to still negotiate when it is hard
Stay respectful with your teen throughout the whole homework negotiation process, and never give up! Don't hurry homework negotiations. Even when feeling provoked, impatient, annoyed, attacked...stay respectful. If the atmosphere becomes tense between you both, slow down the negotiating process, but without intending it to stop. Believe that there is no hurry - that time… Continue reading Your teen and homework : Part 5 – further tips with respectful negotiation
The power of respectful negotiation – it moves mountains… and teens. Negotiate homework with your teen - don't pressure and push them or bribe or reason. You probably already know this but I’ll say it anyway. Coercion won’t work with anyone in the long run. Your teen might do their homework, but they will be… Continue reading Helping your teen do homework: Negotiate with respect and firmness
Our beliefs either help us succeed, or limit our success when helping our children do their homework. We have more control over our lives than we think. Did you know that what we think and believe has a strong influence on what we feel and on what we do? Even more extreme, did you know… Continue reading Help your child learn: Change how you think.