I’m currently working with several young adults aged between 13 and 16. I call them young adults because they change rapidly before our eyes into just that, and we have to accept that they might want more independence, crave more privacy, and like to be shown a high level of respect, while perhaps highly critical… Continue reading Your teen and you: Developing mutual respect.
Goals help keep your teen steady and strong when life is difficult. Study goals are most easily achieved by taking small steps most days, not by cramming in lots of information just before exams. At this stage of their life they experience rapid growth spurts and sudden surges of hormones. There are often dramas, if… Continue reading Helping your teen study when they are non-compliant: What to look out for.
Resiliency is what we have needed to survive and thrive in the adult world. Resiliency is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties, and the ability to bounce back in the face of adversity. When you look around at people you know, you may have noticed that adults who have very little resiliency often don't handle… Continue reading Building resiliency in our children
It’s time to get down and decide a win-win deal together and take turns speaking and listening to each other. For negotiations to be successful create a situation where your teen will stay comfortable and alert enough to listen closely to you. The most important thing you can do is to keep any of your… Continue reading Your teen and you – No 4 – time to create a win-win deal
When you create a firm agreement with your teen about anything, including homework, curfews, chores, and polite behaviour, always pay attention to the small print. Take a little time and remember why you want to negotiate new behaviours with your teen. why you want things to change in your house. When you are sure that… Continue reading Your teen and you: No 3 – Pay attention to the small print
Create a study agreement that both you and your teen are happy with. Following on from the last post......I have some further ideas to increase your chances of success when you negotiate with your teen, about anything really, but in this case the amount of study they are doing. I talk again about the importance… Continue reading Your teen and you: No 2 – Creating a win-win study agreement.
If you want to develop a more adult relationship with your teen, the next few posts are particularly for you. Be brave and plan to rock the family boat now. There is no better time! While you hold most of the purse strings you can create consequences that affect your teen quite easily. It becomes… Continue reading Developing a respectful relationship with your teen
When it all goes wrong - severe consequences step in. Severe consequences are for when your child’s negative behaviours continue beyond acceptable limits after other consequences have been used consistently, and after two strong warnings. Severe consequences are not punishments! Some or all of these consequences happen immediately and are non-negotiable; but at no point… Continue reading Positive Discipline 5: When it all goes wrong it’s severe consequences time.
A positive discipline approach. I believe that it is up to us as the parents to discipline our children so they can learn to discipline themselves. To do this well we need to act tough, stay respectful and remain consistent with them and I encourage you to remain respectfully tough while consistently expecting high standards… Continue reading A positive discipline approach: How to be respectfully firm with your child
The negotiation steps to gain your child's permission to read at home more often: These negotiation steps are written for a younger child but can also be used to negotiate anything with your teen, from driving your car, to completing all homework at high school, to studying more regularly for exams. 1. The soft sell:… Continue reading Negotiating homework: Part 3 – How to