Some of you will be wondering how you will support your children to do well at school this year. Perhaps they are older and their needs have changed or you may be just beginning coaching your child in literacy and/or numeracy skills. There are ways you can develop a respectful coaching relationship with your child so you both can have fun coaching together. If you are not enjoying the coaching most of the time –you need to change something you are doing.
Patience is an important part of developing a respectful coaching relationship but patience is a lot more than just holding your breath, withholding your judgments, and feeling ‘patient’ while working with your child on their
Mathematics, reading and writing skills. I believe this form of ‘patience’ is more often than not just suppressed impatience.
Pay close attention to your judgements. Judgements create misunderstandings and erode trust and they are often incorrect. Your child’s behaviours may be caused by something you have no idea of yet.
As well, the child knows, even if quite unconsciously, that you just judged them. Your face & words & body tell them immediately. You might for example judge their lack of effort or that they don’t seem to remember what you have taught them, or that they are sullen and unwilling to learn.
Take a moment to change your judgements by stopping what you are doing. You can turn away or look away briefly &/or take a deep slow breath and listen closely to them. Remind yourself, ‘I might not really know what this person is experiencing and thinking. I have no right to judge another.’
This coaching opportunity is a time to develop understanding of your child while steadily helping them become more effective students.